Love

I am in love. 

I am in love with my husband.

We have been together for 13 years. We met as teenagers and married very young with the odds stacked against us. It hasn't been easy. It has been hard. REALLY HARD! But when I look at him and still see that 19 year old boy I met all those years ago. 

Don't get me wrong, things are not perfect by any means. There is quite a list of things that he does that really irks me. But in the end, there is an even longer list of things about him that melts my heart on a daily basis. 

I am in love with my children.

When I was pregnant with Chase, I couldn't imagine loving anyone more than I loved Chris. I was so scared of how having a baby would change our relationship. When I held my baby for the first time I knew things would never be the same and it made me so happy! I love Chase's snuggles and his kisses. They way he likes to write me notes. I love how in one little body is an insanely perfect combination of me and Chris. I love his silly spirit and how he always wants everyone around him to be happy.

When I was pregnant with Toby I couldn't imagine loving anyone more than I loved Chase! Isn't it funny how that works? He was such an easy baby. I remember I couldn't wait for him to start walking. And from the moment he took those first steps.. things have not been so easy. Through being Toby's mommy I have learned that the term "special needs" had a very broad spectrum. Just a year ago I couldn't talk to my baby. He didn't understand when I tried to ask him a question or to tell him to stop doing something. He wasn't sure of how to play with most toys and his demands were usually conveyed with a scream or a cry. As I type this he is running around the room with a Buzz Lightyear yelling "Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!". I am truly amazed at how blessed I am. God trusted me.. ME.. to be his mother. He knew that I would see the things I needed to see and be able to get Toby the help he needed to succeed. 

I am in love with my sisters.

I have 2 people who I can talk to about anything. They always love me and never judge me. They are always there when I need them and they always let me pick the restaurants! I love our late night Target trips and when we go to Howard's (even though Mandy NEVER gets a donut!)

I am in love with my pets.

My little furry babies that are always happy to see me. They know when I need a snuggle and a laugh. I love to watch Dolly and Olive play. I love when baby cuddles up to me the same way she did when she was a kitten. I love that Cotton lets Toby carry her around. They are absolutely members of our family.

Lastly, I love that I am saved. 

I love my Jesus. I love that no matter what mistakes I make (and trust me, I make some big ones!) He is always there to give me a fresh start. I love that through Him, I have learned to try and love others the way He loved. Without judging, without questioning.. just love.