I was having a nice slow day at work. Surfing facebook. Haven't we all been here.. "Oh look.. so and so posted a new picture of something random".. you click on their profile to see you have a mutual friend. You click on said mutual friends profile and see someone on their friend list who is not a friend but you know them just the same. "How funny, I'll click on their profile to see if we have any other mutual friends." And then out of the blue.. what you were not expecting. On the Friend list is someone so vile, so repulsive, so detestable, that the very thought of this person makes your blood pressure go up. Your ex-boss that fired you after he found out you were pregnant. (OK, maybe not everyone has been here but I have).
It hit me like a roll of quarters inside a sock. Why.. why did I have to see that MF (those are his initials.. really). All at once the memories of everything that happened in that week came flooding back. This incident was the beginning of one of the hardest times of my life. Every time I think that I have let it go, I am reminded and the anger come back. I have never really wanted to hurt someone the way I wanted to hurt him. Not physically.. just something to really stress him out and have a crappy day. When I found out that I was getting the ax, I considered several scenarios. 1) Putting a snickers in the gas tank of MF's very expensive Lexus sedan. Nixed because I was pregnant and I knew if I had a snickers I would eat it. 2) Fork his yard. This one came compliments of the Fabulous Ms V. She has amazing ideas.. For those of you who don't know, forking a yard is where you take lots of plastic forks, stick them in the ground and then break the "stems" off just short enough that they cant be seen but long enough that they really mess up your lawn mower. Nixed because it would have been too time consuming. 3) Ahh number three, also complements of V. Call MLGW and have his utilities transferred to a random address on the other side of town. Yes.. #3 could work! I had all the necessary info. I was after all, his assistant. All I had to do was make the call. Make.The.Call. I never did. Why I'm still unsure of.
I tell myself that there was a reason I lost my job. Sure MF was a total MF'er and I was miserable working there but I loved having my job. It had good benefits and it was easy. I wanted to quit after the baby was born not get fired before he was born. It was a total blow to my self esteem when I got fired. I pray that I will be able to let this go. Will this always happen? 40 years from now will I be holding a grandchild a see something that takes me back to this place? I really hope not.
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2 comments:
No matter what you say, you nixed them all b/c you’re a good person, and while a good person can think bad things, they don’t act on the bad things they think up.
You lost your job so that you could spend time at home with your babies and draw unemployment. If you quit after you had the baby, you wouldn’t have had that unemployment income, no matter how small it may have been, and that could have potentially drowned you guys financially.
It will always hurt b/c being fired is a type of rejection, and the fact that they fired you under such false pretenses only adds insult to injury – but, as with all things, the hurt will subside. There was a point to it all, a plan to keep your world the way it should be, and although it didn’t seem to make sense at the time – if you look back now, you’ll see that it worked out for the best.
That’s the way I looked at being robbed when we were – we had moved into a ghetto neighborhood, a ghetto house – being robbed was terrifying and horrible, but after we got moved and got back into the swing of things, we realized that God had a purpose – it was to get us out of there and into a better place. That’s what happened with you. God knew your idea of quitting, saw it would hurt you financially, and made the firing happen to keep you OK.
Everything happened the way it was supposed to. You got lots of time with Toby and Chase and you're much happier now than you were then. Just remember it as a trust exercise.
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