Why?

I had a hard time trying to decide whether or not to write about the shootings in Connecticut. I wasn't really aware of how serious it was until I turned on the news after seeing so many FB posts. (If my boys are with me and the TV is on, it is usually on the Disney channel and more recently one of the dozens of Christmas movies on our DVR.) Once I started watching I couldn't help but sit there in utter disbelief. As more details started coming in, I began to cry uncontrollably. 

How could this happen? Why would anyone want to hurt innocent babies? As more and more gruesome details were revealed it made me sick at my stomach. I could not fathom having to drive to school to find out if my children had been murdered. All I could think about was Chase. How I know that his desk is closest to the door in his class. How the windows in his classroom do not open (that I am aware of). Of having to come home with out him. Of never singing to him again at night, of never having to wash a pair of grass stained jeans or finding t-shirts with holes in them. I couldn't help but put myself in the place of all those parents. Then I began to think of the tiny victims. Oh those precious babies. I can only have faith that our wonderful and merciful God wrapped his loving arms around them before they had the chance to feel any pain or have any fear, keeping their glorious innocence intact as he called them home. I thought of those terrifying moments for the adults in the school. The brave principal and the teachers who gave their lives trying to save the children in their care. The love that I know God has for them who sacrificed all. After all, doesn't He know better than anyone the pain of loosing a child?

So many people are looking for answers where there are none to be found. There is no answer that will give any amount of peace to the families of the lost. I have seen social media posts that have read "How could God let this happen?". I don't believe for one second that God let this happen. He didn't cause this to happen. He has given us all the amazing gift of free will. The same free will that allows us to love and cherish one another. The same free will that allows us to have faith that His Son WILL return. The same free will that allows some to turn away from love and light and let the evil one take control. How it broke His heart that a child that He breathed into existence caused pain to so many of his other children. Because we are ALL God's children even if we have turned away from him.

I do not think gun control is the answer. I do not think more guns are the answer. I think the answer is love. Love for one another. Love for those who do not know how to love themselves. I think it was sad day in our country's history when prayer was removed from our schools. The place where our children are taught to read and write should also be a place where they learn love. 

So tonight I pray. I pray for the families of all the victims. I pray for the family of the shooter. I am praying for our country to come together and not be torn farther apart. But most of all I pray for my babies. I pray that they will never bear witness to the horrific evil that this world we live in is capable of. 

And then I will hug them a little tighter.