Day 3 - 8 Fears

8 Fears

These are 8 of my fears and I am going to be pretty honest. Please don't read too much in to them, its just some stuff I think about. Again, these are in a totally random order.

8. That I'm a bad mother

I worry that I'm really messing my kids up. I yell more than I should. Sometimes they drive me nuts and nothing sounds more enticing that getting in my van and driving until the gas runs out. I do know that I love them more than life itself and I would do anything for them.

7. Death of my loved ones

This one could have easily been 1-6 so I decided to condense it into one. The thought of loosing Chris or one of my kids literally turns my stomach. I really think I would go insane. More so if I lost Chase or Toby than Chris. Only because if something did happen to Chris, I know I would have to be strong for my babies. I have been with Chris since I was 17 and I really cant imagine loving anyone else the way I love him. It's definitely not one of life's milestones that I'm looking forward to.

6. Wasps and bees

They are horrible, horrible creatures. I hate them and they freak me out. Ask Victoria.. she was with me in the car when I thought a fly was a bee. Not.good.

5. Driving over large bridges

All I can envision is someone jumping the median, "t-bone"ing us and sending us into the mighty Mississippi.

4. That I may not have anymore children

I love being pregnant and being a mom. There is nothing more amazing than getting a little kick from within. I love the feeling when you hold your baby for the first time. When you hear I love you mommy and little arms wrap around you. But, sometimes I'm not sure if I'm cut out for more than 2.

3. That Chris and I wont make it.

Lets face it.. We live in a nation where divorce is the rule more than the exception. 50% of all first marriages and and 75% of second marriages end. Those aren't good odds. We love each other so much. We always try and be honest and we pray daily for our marriage. But it's still scary knowing how easy it is to walk away.

2. That I would die

I'm not afraid of my own death. I know where I'm going. But it does scare me to think of my boys growing up without me. Who would sing their good-night songs? Or send "I love you" notes in their lunch box? Who will teach them how to treat girls when they go out on dates and how to change diapers for their babies? I pray that the Lord allows me to be with them for all these moments and more!

1. Getting a Brazilian bikini wax

Yes, I know my sister is an aestician.. and a really good one at that. I know that for Chris it would be better than the best Christmas morning of his childhood. Sorry.. no dice. I just cant bring myself to put hot wax on my good-bits.